You might think you’re helping him be a ‘better person’ – but constant nagging often does harm than good.

Louanne Ward, a relationship coach from Western Australiasaid nagging is one of the top things men are sick of – so it could be time to rethink your behaviour.

‘He thinks you’re telling him he’s not good enough. You cannot nag a man into being better,’ the professional matchmaker said in a Facebook post.

‘You cannot schedule him into self-growth. He is not your fixer-upper. He is not your renovation project. He is not a work assignment you can optimise with the right systems and enough supervision.

‘He’s either the man you want right now, today, or he’s not.’

Speaking from her own experience, Louanne said she’s seen women ‘waste’ years trying to ‘motivate, mould, inspire, teach, coach and develop’ a man into what they think he ‘could be’.

‘But whenever you do this, you’re not motivating him,’ she warned.

‘You’re killing his passion for growth, independence, leadership and FOR YOU. A man who wants to grow will grow. On his own timeline. In his own way. Without your project management.’

Louanne said when a man is serious about ‘becoming ’, he doesn’t need a woman to ‘remind him, redirect him or restructure his life’.

‘He does it because he wants to,’ she explained.

‘The problem is this: if you need him to change, improve or evolve at your pace, in your way, to meet your standards, you’re not building him up.

‘You’re breaking him down. You’re telling him every single day that who he is right now isn’t enough. Will never be enough. And no matter what he does, he’ll never measure up.’

She urged women to stop dating ‘potential’ men.

‘Potential is not a relationship,’ Louanne said bluntly.

‘It’s a fantasy you’re funding with your hope and exhausting yourself trying to turn into reality.

‘If he’s not the man you need right now, believe what you’re seeing. Not what you’re imagining he could become if you just pushed harder, loved better or managed smarter.

She added: ‘You deserve a partner, not a project. And he deserves a woman who accepts him as he is.’

Many applauded Louanne for her ‘brilliant’ advice, with one man saying: ‘I’m impressed, you’re spot on.’

‘When a woman HERSELF is doing the work it inspires a man. When she insists he changes but she doesn’t have any goals or isn’t working on herself it’s just absurd,’ another shared.

‘Not all but most people these days are not taking others for who they are but instead for their looks, and later trying to change them,’ one suggested.

Another agreed with Louanne’s post, explaining: ‘There’s nothing a man hates than being nagged.

‘It strips his soul, sense of identity, leaves him feeling distressed and frustrated, questioning himself. Even if he does what you ask him to do, he is doing it for all the wrong reasons, and will diminish in aura, purpose and happiness, making him less attractive,’ he shared.

‘You either accept someone for who they are, or you don’t. And allow yourselves to grow together. And if you don’t accept and want to change them, you are manipulating them.

‘If you don’t like who they are today, either you need to ask yourself what lesson do I have to learn, or else, accept you are not compatible and move on harmoniously, no hard feelings.’